Fast-Forward Family by Ochs Elinor

Author:Ochs, Elinor
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780520273979
Publisher: University of California Press

8Nurturing

MARJORIE HARNESS GOODWIN AND CHARLES GOODWIN

Despite the busyness1 of the Los Angeles families we studied, the interactions many family members experienced during shared leisure activities as well as while doing everyday chores and children's work (homework) were characterized by caring, supportiveness, playfulness, and pleasure, just the sorts of experiences psychologists2 and psychological anthropologists3 have said are necessary in order for individuals to thrive. In the midst of mundane, largely unstructured activity such as taking a walk, riding in the car, or cleaning a piano keyboard, children and parents could cultivate active and joyful engagement in imaginative inquiry about the world, often colored by language play during forms of “occasioned knowledge exploration"4 during “quality moments.”5

This chapter demonstrates ways in which forms of love were manifested among family members in everyday life situations and activities in four families. When children received outstanding grades on report cards or demonstrated superior talent in sports, parents displayed considerable enthusiasm for their accomplishments. Parents actively responded to children's desires to learn new skills (e.g., making waffles for family breakfast) by apprenticing them into the activity. Love was also expressed through building opportunities for children to discover new ways of encountering the world or solve problems during unstructured activities such as an evening walk in the neighborhood or while cuddling in bed on a Saturday morning. Through the tactics of tough love parents taught forms of responsibility and perseverance in the midst of conflict. While caring for children was primarily in the hands of parents, siblings in some households were also important partners in nurturing young children, teaching self-care activities, and reading with them, providing moments of relief for parents and opportunities for learning and rich emotional exchange.

Our methodology of videotaping everyday interactions provides a unique lens for examining how moments of intense caring and apprenticeship unfolded in real time and through embodied practice; rarely has it been possible for researchers to document the in situ experience of family members building a life with one another in the intimate spaces of the home in the way we did. This chapter differs from others in this book in that we examine displays of family affection as if looking through a microscope; we investigate how feelings and relationships unfold moment by moment in daily activities. Specifically, we explore how the choreographing of routine events (linked to family cultural values and aspirations) highlight forms of caring and empathy in four different families.

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